Entertaining Yourself
by Rodi
Summary: It's hard to say too much without ruining the story. Just imagine utter world peace and Duo's business has been lost. What is he going to do? Wank that's what. Only joking you *******!
1. Default Chapter

**.Entertaining Yourself.**

** **

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The computer I'm doing this on, I conned off an old blind lady.(Woahh, check out that sarcasm overload.)

A/N: This story just came to me. At first I thought up some crazy idea about Duo getting involved in a flower business that was a front for the mob. But it turned into this. I guess I like it because it raises the question: 'Would world peace be all that great?' It's sort of surreal, in a Logan's Run sort of way.

'It's a cut throat business we're in Milo.' Said the man.

'My name isn't Milo, it's Duo.' Replied Duo Maxwell.

'Yeah, great. It's a cut throat business we're in DUO.' said the man.

'It's a flower shop.' Replied Maxwell.

'Okay I don't have time for this crap okay? You make minimum wage. And if anyone comes in push the roses.' Said the shop owner.

Duo watched as his new employer walked out the shop.

'So this is it.' said Duo to himself. He'd fought wars. Risked life and limb and this was his life 5 years later. 'Is this what we fought for?' Duo asked himself. 'I guess it was.' He responded. His junkyard had gone down the tube, Preventers didn't want or need him. He had Hilde though. Now she was working for a software company and he was getting by on remedial dull jobs. 'There's no place in the world for ex-rebels like me.' Duo said, continuing his one way conversation with no one. No one committed crimes any more. The police force barely did anything. Preventers just lounged around all day. Granted, a year or two ago there was still some remaining terrorists and trouble makers.

But they always got caught. So criminals gave up. What was the point if you were just going to get put in jail. So now no crimes we're committed. The homeless had all been given jobs working for the council as garbage collectors, or other 'no qualifications needed' jobs.

So no one HAD to steal to make a living. 'What the world needs.' Duo continued. 'is a good shaking up. People have all grown too relaxed and set in their ways. My skills can't be put to protecting people, because there's no one to protect. But my skills can be put to making people to be protected. If I can't help then I can certainly hinder. I could give the Preventers a good run for their money. I could rally troops and cause chaos.' Duo finished with a manic grin on his face. Just then a man walked into the shop.

'Excuse me. I'm looking for some orchids for my wife. Do you have any?' Asked the customer.

'No but we do have some lovely roses.' replied Duo cheerfully.

'No thank you my wife doesn't like roses.' Said the customer.

'Oh. Well in that case give me all the money you have on you. Don't shout, I have a shotgun under the counter. Just play along and you won't get hurt.' said Duo in a much less friendly voice.

'You disgust me.' Said the man while emptying his pockets.

'I know. And I'm loving every second of it.' 

So what do you think? Duo as a criminal. Pretty strange. But what will Hilde have to say about it? And can Duo persuade the other Gundam Pilot's to join him in his insane plot?


	2. Fook This

And now for no real reason I give you a scene of gratuitous violence and in order to boost up the rating from pg 13 to R the words: tit, poop, cunt and fuck.  
  
The scene is set in a shantytown in Peru; we see brief footage of the poverty and shabbiness of the area. Followed by a musical interlude with people kicking each other; and finally we get to the actual story line.  
  
'Why? Why? Do you disgrace my family in this way?' screamed the father, 'I do not want some bastard grandson; your place is on the streets you whore! I have no daughter as far as I'm aware!'  
  
'But father please!' begged the daughter (slag!)  
  
'Just go; GO!' screamed the father.  
  
Suddenly this emotional scene is interrupted by the door bursting open and Jimmy Saville walking in.  
  
'Now then, Now then I think I can explain.'  
  
'Wait a minute!' said another new voice. Which belongs to Tony the Tiger.  
  
'I thought I was the father.'  
  
'Oh shove off Tony, you washed up cereal pawn.' Said Jimmy  
  
' Do you think anyone can beat a heroin addiction you fuck?!' roared Tony.  
  
And with that he jumped on Jimmy and savagely mauled him.  
  
'Ahhh you cunt! AHHHH.' Barked Jimmy in sheer agony.  
  
But wait, there's more. At that point of time the Bolton Brass Band burst in and played Spanish Fleet. As Tony ripped Jimmy's face apart, a tear fell down his cheek as he realised what he was doing to his dear friend.  
  
'Oh sod it' he said and continued to savage Saville.  
  
' Poop and tit is all we need I think' said Bugs bunny 'That's all folks,'  
  
fem. 


End file.
